Devil Music

When I was in high school, back in the 80's, I was shown a book that detailed how all of the popular bands of the time were in allegiance with the devil. The argument was certainly not new, and certainly some bands cultivated this kind of image - Motley Crue and Kiss to name a couple - though for these bands, that is exactly what it was about: image. Their lyrics were more about partying and getting women than anything else. Of course, the author of the book proved himself ridiculous when he started mentioning bands like Journey. I have no comment to add - that's the punchline.

A few years later, I received the blessing of hearing Bill Hicks for the first time. His version of 'devil music' was music that had no soul, that obeyed only corporate standards, that included the likes of George Michael, Madonna, Billy Ray Cyrus, and Debbie Gibson. The devil's music, in the words of Bill Hicks, was 'lowering the standards for the perfect and holy children of God' - that was us, the listeners. Bill was looking out for our ears and our souls.

These two factors have led me to my own definition of devil's music. So here I will compile a list of types of devil music, which could potentially slow, stop, or even reverse our spiritual evolution. Also, it's annoying enough to drive rational people to want to commit heinous acts of evil - isn't that the devil's purpose, after all? To corrupt the heart, mind, and soul of people?

Here's the list of the top five offenders:
1) Christian pop
I am not talking here of gospel or bluegrass, which can be very soulful and uplifting. I am talking about the crap that tries to pass off as pop music, filled with cliches instead of uplifting ideas and substituting melodramatic whining for any kind of soulful feeling. It's packaged, cheesy, corporate crap, plain and simple. One may ask why, even if this is all true, it ranks at the top of the list. Well, according to some religious perspectives, the devil operates by insidious instead of overt means, tempting people into sin by making them think that they are actually doing God's work. Under the guise of spreading holy praise, Christian pop is actually numbing your soul. The Ten Commandments have something to say about idolatry; what is more deceitfully and suductively idolatrous than a Christian pop star?

2) Country pop
Again, I need to qualify this. I am referring here to the corporate products coming out of the Nashville music factory. Classic country - Hank, Patsy, Willie, Waylon, Merle, Johnny - can be edgy, insightful, moving, and can convey a real flavor of a region or view of life. Local country - artists like Robert Earl Keen from Texas - carry on the tradition of classic country without selling out. I am talking about the pre-packaged drivel that crawls out of Nashville recording studios to smear banality all over the airwaves. Country pop is so far out of touch with its roots that it seems like all the songs try to establish some sort of dirt road cred by throwing out any rural image they can think of instead of actually singing about something. The religious undertones contribute to its insidious intent (see #1 above). Looking at Toby Keith should convince anyone with a soul that this music is evil.

3) Regular pop
Most of the music considered to be pop (or by some delisional commentators, rock) that makes the Top 40 is crap - corporate, packaged crap (see description above). This music is lower on the list because it does not resort to the deceptive ploy of mentioning religious cliches to justify itself. It just sucks without any remorse whatsoever. Let's look at the bastardized sub-genres: Hip-Pop, Pretty Punk, Boy Bands, Pseudo-Soulsters and Folksy Flunkies. It's hard to believe that the perpetrators of this foul sin against music can walk on a stage without some degree of shame. How do they knowingly commit such atrocities? Do they truly have no conscience? Are they truly evil? They must be.

4) Muzak
Try to think of one situation when you were sitting in a waiting room waiting for something good to happen to you....That's what I thought. Muzak is the soundtrack of anxiousness and fear. Like the other genres here, it is deceptive. It is supposed to be soothing (because you are most likely waiting for something uncomfortable or even dreadful), but what is more annoying than hearing your favorite songs butchered. It simply compounds your anguish. Not to mention the aesthetic blasphemies for which this type of music is responsible.

5) Music about the devil
Um, duh....can't get more obvious than that.